Thursday, December 30, 2010

UM =)



还记得我以前中学时,是以Univeristy of Malaya (UM)为目标。中学的一个senior:Sim Mei是我那时很敬佩的人物。SPM 全10a1, STPM 4A, Ketua Pengawas, Pengerusi Rumah Pasukan Panglima, 超强。她曾经当过我4s1班的bio代课老师,虽然只是一阵子,但比原本的老师教得好很多。我也是Panglima/青组的一分子。后来,她进了UM读pharmacy。我进大学之年刚好是她大学毕业的那一年。我,很奇怪吧,为什么会记得一些人,很多时候那些人很可能早已忘了我叫什么名。

我也算完成了进UM的任务 XP 成了University of Manchester的学生。



不久的明年二月,我弟弟也算要完成进 UM的任务=P 将成为 University Monash的学生。




有一天我会以学生身份进入那入口,MBA?? =)随缘

2010,再见

我觉得2010年发生了很多事,希望2011年会更好 =)

Saturday, December 11, 2010

我买机票回马来西亚了!!!

我六月十二日从曼彻斯特回,六月十三日下午3pm到马来西亚。九月十八日晚上才回曼彻斯特,九月十九日下午到。

我坐emirates... 机票566英镑而已,哈哈

YEAH!! =)

Thursday, December 9, 2010

随笔 =)

英国政府计划大量减大学的Teaching budget和research budget。英国大学为了缴付成本,纷纷打算起学费。部分大学生为了抗卫下一代的教育,而走上街头示威,或占领讲堂。3000变9000英镑,英国人很难接受。我个人不赞成减teaching和research budget..大学教育可以说英国其中一个最大的出口。近年来,英国大学越来越被美国大学抛在后头(在QS,在Times Higher Education World University Ranking,在Shanghai World University Research Ranking等主要的世界大学排行榜)。如果再减budget,很明显的,英国将更加落后在research..

不过,题外话,我们international学生目前已经交14000的学费,有些科甚至25000英镑,我们却丝毫没有人抗议。可以不可以顺便帮我们示威一下?? =)

来了这里几个月,对马来西亚华人有了新的看法。我们不和中国华人一样,不和香港的华人一样,不和英国华人一样。环境的不同让不同地方的华人都有了很大的差异。就好像欧洲人在美国或澳洲落地生根,形成的美国人和澳洲人却和欧洲人不同。

发现讨论买机票回家比旅行更兴奋 =)不是欧洲不好,也不是曼彻斯特不好。我其实觉得曼彻斯特大学很棒,哈哈。只是看着flatmate全部回家庆祝christmas,有些失落,哈哈。

一个人不管走得多远,还是会牵挂着家人。越远,越能体会溶在血中的那种牵绊。

Thursday, December 2, 2010

很棒!

我最近感觉很棒!!

下雪了!这让我很兴奋..20岁终于见到雪了!11月29日,我会记得这一天,虽然很小,天空落下像尘埃的雪!11月30日,雪下大了,我有了人生中第一个雪球战,还有迷你snowman!









更加让我超级兴奋的是12月1日,我出席了2001诺贝尔奖得主Dr Tim Hunt的public lecture:“"Lessons from a life in science: how to get a Nobel Prize”。地点在曼彻斯特大学的University Place!很兴奋,第一次看到真人的诺贝尔奖得主。Dr Hunt是一个很好的演讲者,也看得出他很有那种科学热忱和毅力。我在Q&A session问了他一个问题!(当主持人问还有谁有问题问,我的右手举了起来)我问他:“what's difference between research today compared to those in your time? what advice will you give to aspiring scientists?" 他答的第一句:"keep your foot on the ground, put your eyes on the horizon and keep your nose near the grindstone"。之后,他说了know what's unknown的重要,并用了Francis Crick做例子。他说Francis Crick是一个很有好奇心且不耻下问的人,他说很多top scientist强在他们清楚本身不知道什么,并抱有很大的好奇心去学习不知道的。=))








“Research is the art of the soluble” =) //art to find solution to solve problem



"You know, the proper method for inquiring after the properties of things is to deduce them from experiments" =)))

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

SPM

也是三年前的事了。

回想起中四中五那种每天早上上课,下午补习补到晚上的生活。

没有那时,我今天也不会在这里。

11月23日SPM 2010开跑了.. 顺裕,加油!我会在这里祝你考试好运!!

考试好运!我知道你很拼了 =)加油!

迟到 =.=lll

星期二人生中第一次上课迟到,不是迟了几分钟,而是迟了近一个小时!!我从来没想过会发生的事,只能无奈alarm不叫醒我。

幸好,我只是错过Dr Freeman讨论workshop的练习题目,并没有miss掉之后她一个小时的Pharmaceutical Chemistry lecture。

幸好,我上次有留意到Lecture theatre的后门,让我可以赶进去。

我上完课后,还是心有余悸。

还好,之后的Lab做得很顺利。回宿舍后,换了alarm的 ringtone

难忘的经验。

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Salting out

as a side effects of reading quite a lot of materials about solubility in physical pharmacy recently, everytime i add salt to my soup during cooking, i think of: salting out =.=lll

the salt will decrease the solubility of gases in water, causing the gas to escape. this is because the attraction of salt ions with water molecules reduce the density of aqueous environment adjacent to the gas molecules

LOL haha

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Oxford University =)


小时候的我以为牛津大学是出版英语词典的团体。家里的那本英语词典依然“健在”,从我小学到中学到我读A level,只是越来越像咸菜=)

后来,长大了,我才知道Oxbridge的存在。至到今天,我还是对剑桥Cambridge大学比较有好感。也许是因为oxford让我想到牛的关系=)

我最近参观了Oxford University,我觉得它的环境和它的college system,尤其是一对一的tutorial很棒=)










Wednesday, November 10, 2010

不悦

我因为我的Group Essay而很不悦。

想起曼大2010 Nobel Prize得主Prof Andrem Geim说过的话, "Very often I fall out with people who don’t work hard, but I have never fallen out with those who work as hard as Kostya."

前半句,我现在深深体会。

Saturday, November 6, 2010

The John Rylands Library (Deansgate) of The University of Manchester =)

我最近参观了曼彻斯特大学在Deansgate的约翰赖兰兹图书馆..当我走进该建筑的读书房,一种感觉吞没了我:辉煌壮观!i visited the John Rylands Library during a thursday in the reading week.. when i entered the Historic Reading Room of the building, one feeling engulfed me: Magnificent!




me and John Rylands =)



约翰赖兰兹图书馆在1972年和与曼彻斯特大学图书馆合并,形成曼彻斯特约翰赖兰兹大学图书馆(JRULM)。在Deansgate的约翰赖兰兹图书馆本身,是在19世纪90年代建造的,是在欧洲现代哥特式建筑的最佳范例之一 =)
"The John Rylands Library merged with Manchester University Library in 1972 to form the John Rylands University Library of Manchester (JRULM). The John Rylands Library building on Deansgate in the city centre houses the special collections of older material, and holds regular exhibitions based on its stock. The building itself, constructed in the 1890s, is one of the finest examples of modern Gothic architecture in Europe." (from http://www.culture24.org.uk/am19240)



as my phone camera not so good, i decide to include a video link that i found in YouTube about John Rylands Library =) Have a look!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aIkql30OBpI

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

天气


今天reading week放假第一天 =)其实Pharmacy也算迟放假了,读其他course的flatmates早都放假了,Nick早几天都回家乡了 =.=lll

突然决定写关于天气。 曼彻斯特有三种天气:晴天,阴天和雨天
晴天,我的最爱 =)曼城的阳光没有灼伤人的热度,只有亮度,所有的建筑物看起来都比较美。秋天的晴天尤其漂亮 =)

阴天,总是给人一种沉重的感觉,让人陷入沉思,常让我觉得自己格外稳重(错觉 =P)看着建筑物,想到的却是它们的历史,它们曾经目送了多少届的学生。

雨天,不知为什么,觉得下雨的曼城很像马来西亚,那种潮湿度和雨水,只是没有倾盆大雨,没有雷声。





我依然在等待曼彻斯特的第一个彩虹 =)

Monday, November 1, 2010

写给自己

我10月31日有25小时 =)

因为在英国的所有人都给了自己多一个小时。

如果连时间都可以改变,没有什么是办不到的。

所以,

在面对困难想放弃时,请给自己多一个理由坚持下去。


也许,你会说那时间改变是抽象的,真实的时间没改变,

其实很多困难也都是抽象的,其实没有真实的困难。

Sunday, October 31, 2010

Jiun Haur, Old Trafford!!



Above is a video i found in facebook!! cool, isn't it?

so, Ah Haur, remember come manchester la, haha =)

Friday, October 29, 2010

Haworth Projection

while i reading internet materials about Haworth Projection in organic chemistry, i realised the projection founder Sir Norman Walter Haworth was also a University of Manchester alumni.. He graduated with a first-class honoors degree in chemistry in 1906.. He received the 1937 Nobel Prize in Chemistry "for his investigations on carbohydrates and vitamin C" when he is working in university of birmingham..

cool! =)

Monday, October 25, 2010

知足

不知为什么,来了英国后,好像比较容易感到满足了。

较有阳光的一天,都会让我很开心,然后就会在oxford road随便走走。很喜欢曼彻斯特大学的建筑物,尤其是在晴天。我想应该没有人像我一样吧:我在到了英国后,在一个月内,兴奋地走了north和south campus,兴奋地拍了大学内的所有建筑物,然后upload到facebook.. 正当我在cork的朋友拼命离开cork在ireland四处旅行时,我却在兴奋地拍大学=P 也许我的大学在英国不是最有特色的大学,但它在我心目中将是最特别的=)



在oxford road或附近走着,看到很多很多人,几乎全部都是曼大学生。内心会感到很欣慰,我真的很幸运,有机会来到这里升学,成为这里近4万的曼大学生的其中一分子=)

虽然没有多余的钱买报纸读,但每星期免费的The Mancunion还是让我很期待星期一,它是由曼大学生编辑 =)

虽然只有SHM汤和饭, 但我还是吃到很开心 =)SHM不是simple harmonic motion,而是soon hong mixed soup,hahaha

我上星期有机会免费去stratford-upon-avon =)莎士比亚的家乡。想起我的家乡Telok Panglima Garang..想起以前我总是冒充是Klang人,因为TPG太少人知道了..现在,我有时也费劲向其他人解释Malaysia在哪里 =)目前被问的问题包括"you are from malaysia, so you are malays?","what language you speak in your country, you speak malay?" =.=lll haha =) 也希望我flatmates不要误会,不要把SHM当作是malaysia的传统食物,hahaha。Malaysia有很多很棒的食物!

最重要的,虽然天气越来越冷,我还是很满足,至少冷天气让我很清醒很alert,haha =)

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

妈,生日快乐 =)

20.10.2010是一个很特别的日子!我妈妈的生日!!



妈,我希望您可以开开心心过每一天。您不用太担心我啦,我会好好照顾自己的,我在这里过得很好!

Sunday, October 17, 2010

不参与winter旅行




我还是做了这个决定:不去了
但你们依然还是我很重视的好朋友,在ucsi最大的收获 =)

Saturday, October 16, 2010

nice song

TC;FS - If I Knew (Claire's Theme) by Josh Beattie
very nice the song,right? it is the theme song in "to claire from sonny", a very nice video.. below is the link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8rKW-VRFczA

Friday, October 15, 2010

冷与挣扎

有很多时候,我有种感觉我离开马来西亚很久很久了,但其实还没到一个月,很奇怪的感觉..
再过几天,就将一个月了.. 还记得四姑曾在fb问我:"飞出笼子自由的鸟,你现在怎样了?"
我答:"变成了急冻鸟”.. 正当我要告诉其他人我习惯了曼彻斯特的温度(曼城一连串几天的晴天,有次20度),这几天温度却好像越来越冷了.. 前几天,有次7.9度,我第一次讲话会有白烟!!

天气冷让我想起几个电影.. 原来titanic中的jack真的很伟大,冷死这种事太太太悲壮了 =).. 我也想起了the day after tomorrow这部电影,想起了男主角在new york public library烧书取暖。 如果曼城被暴风雪封盖,我想最安全的地方应该是 John Rylands University Libary of Manchester(JRULM).. JRULM的四百万书本,应该够我取暖很久 =P 附近的shunck building有vegetarian food,可以当food supply,hahaha,我的plan不错吧!
JRULM

在ireland dublin的朋友已经开始邀请winter的旅行了.. 但气候学家预测今年的冬天将是千年最冷的冬天,这种消息像一桶冰水浇灭了我的旅行热.. 但大家都说first year不去,以后就没有机会了,况且是和一班好朋友去.. 但我独自一个人从曼彻斯特到伦敦,之后再从都柏林回来,却让我很犹豫.. 家人也叫我别离开英国旅行.. 这些让我有些想躲在曼彻斯特

the road not taken...Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood....

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Nobel Prize and budget alarm

Prof Andre Geim and Prof Konstantin Novoselov sitting on the bench near Old quadrangle

I feel so happy for The University of Manchester!!! it has been quite some time since the university last won a Nobel Prize, exluding two Nobel laureates that the uni hired in recent years (Joseph E. Stiglitz and Sir John Sulston).. Joseph E. Stiglitz was awarded Nobel prize in economics in 2001, while Sir John Sulston was awarded Nobel prize in physiology and medicine in 2002, both won the Nobel Prize before joining the uni of manchester, so there is not so much to be proud of.. if i not mistaken, the last Nobel Laureate that truly associated with uni of manchester is Michael Smith.. Michael Smith was a graduate from the university of manchester and he won the Nobel Prize in Chemistry in 1993 =) quite long time ago


Michael Smith Building in uni of manchester


it was really a pleasant surprise when i saw the news in internet : Prof Andre Geim and Prof Konstantin Novoselov from the university of manchester were jointly awarded Nobel prize in physics in 2010 for groundbreaking experiments regarding the two-dimensional material graphene =))))


it was really a great news to cheer me up because recently i was quite annoyed by the fact that i spent more than 400 pounds in less than one month! gosh, i spent more than 2000ringgit in less than one month, terrible! i don't know why this happen, i tried my best to save money already, lol

ok,i guess i know why this happen: i bought an expensive printer(i dunno the fact that if i show my student card to get 10%discount, wasted), Organic Chemistry by PY Bruice(only after i check internet,i realise the author is a female,lol, maybe Bruice sounds like Bruce Lee =P), Physicochemical Principles of Pharmacy by Attwood(i bought from Blackwell bookshop, this time i show my student card, but they said no discount for it, lol).. also because I joined Manchester University Pharmaceutical Society, Manchester Debating Union and Malaysian Student Society of Manchester, all need member fee =.=lll

hope that i will not need to spend so much money in the future
also hope that i will enjoy every moment in the university =)

p/s: last last week, i took photo near Old quadrangle too =) hahaha
ok, i admit i a bit far from the bench, haha =P

Sunday, October 3, 2010

=)

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” -Mark Twain-

Friday, October 1, 2010

大不列颠国

就这样,week -1, week 0 and week 1很快就要过去了,轻松的时刻很快就要结束了。我和其他ucsi jpa july08 intake的 uk pharmacy和uk dentistry很快就要加入早早已经在啃书的ireland dentistry军团了。 阿嫲和妈都叫我专心读书,周末才skype回家,她们怕每天skype一个小时多会影响我学业。是有点夸张,但我明白她们的用心良苦。我想,我也不该常常上facebook了。明天10月1日,我要开始更加努力了!我不希望我成为一个半桶水差劲的药剂师 =)

常常想起在飞机场时我挥手向家人(阿嫲,爸,妈,四姑,小姑,弟弟们,妹妹)告别的画面,也常常想起我和爸,妈,阿嫲在去KLIA的车上的那个画面,内心总会热热的:我离开家,离乡背井到英国求学,一定要让这4年不虚此行。

那时在KLIA,用福建话,我:“阿嫲,jpa没有这样早飞,我们太早来了。你等我这样久,很显哦?”
阿嫲:“没显啦,我的孙要出英国,我很欢喜”


一定要让这4年不虚此行。

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

相对论 relativity

有很多观念自从来到了英国,变得很抽象了..


温度:20度是我家开冷气时的温度,12度是曼彻斯特常常的温度,有一个早上它跌到6度,我的身体已经分辨不出这些温度了。今天13度,为什么感觉比昨天12度冷?-5度的感觉是怎样的?我坐飞机时,surrounding air temperature曾经-28度,那又是怎样的感觉?我知道0度的感觉是冰

时间: 究竟我现在的生命是以马来西亚时间计算还是英国的时间计算?我是否年轻了7个小时?如果是,为什么?如果不是,又为什么?假设我在马来西亚种一棵植物,我将它移去美国,它会因此少一天的年纪吗?如果不是,岁月是不是不再靠日夜计算?靠记忆?我的手表和手机都显示英国时间,但我laptop还是显示马来西亚时间,我现在觉得有两个时间系统在进行着,当有一天我将laptop时间换成英国时间和渐渐忘记马来西亚的时间,我是否年轻了7个小时?

目前我觉得自己在慢慢过日子,由于相对论,在佛或神或上帝或宇宙统治者眼里,我会不会是在光速浪费时间?

算了吧,不要胡思乱想,哈哈,吃晚餐!

Sunday, September 26, 2010

UK =)

i found a song in my friend's wall that exactly depicts what i feel about coming UK from malaysia to study a MPharm degree..esp the chorus =)

Breakaway by kelly clarkson


Grew up in a small town
And when the rain would fall down
I'd just stare out my window

Dreaming of what could be
And if I'd end up happy
I would pray

Trying hard to reach out
But when I'd try to speak out
Felt like no one could hear me

Wanted to belong here
But something felt so wrong here
So I pray
I could breakaway

I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly
I'll do what it takes till I touch the sky
And I'll make a wish, take a chance, make a change
And breakaway

Out of the darkness and into the sun
But I won't forget all the ones that I loved
I'll take a risk, take a chance, make a change
And breakaway


Wanna feel the warm breeze
Sleep under a palm tree
Feel the rush of the ocean

Get onboard a fast train
Travel on a jet plane, far away
And breakaway

I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly
I'll do what it takes 'til I touch the sky
And I'll make a wish, take a chance, make a change
And breakaway

Out of the darkness and into the sun
I won't forget all the ones that I loved
I gotta take a risk, take a chance, make a change
And breakaway


Buildings with a hundred floors
Swinging 'round revolving doors
Maybe I don't know where they'll take me but
Gotta keep moving on, moving on
Fly away, breakaway

I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly
Though it's not easy to tell you goodbye
I gotta take a risk, take a chance, make a change
And breakaway

Out of the darkness and into the sun
But I won't forget the place I come from
I gotta take a risk, take a chance, make a change
And breakaway, breakaway, breakaway

Friday, September 24, 2010

Prof Alan Gilbert

the first vice chancellor and first president of The University of Manchester Prof Alan Gilbert passed away in Manchester in july 2010 because of serious heart condition, what a great loss to the university =(

i only knew about it after i settled down in manchester..the news come as a great unpleasant surprise because i not even aware of the former Vice-chancellor's illness.. i think many of the students in manchester also not aware of it

Prof Alan Gilbert was the first president of The University of Manchester, which was formed when UMIST and Victoria University of Manchester merged in 2004. He was also the man that initiated Manchester 2015, a plan to make The University of Manchester a top 25 university in the world by 2015

Prof Alan Gilbert was the man that appeared in first page of Manchester Advantage, Arrival Guide and Orientation Guide that greeted all new students(including me) in those documents. It was quite sad because when i achieved my dream to study in The University of Manchester, Prof Alan Gilbert had passed away.

May you rest in peace in heaven, Prof Alan Gilbert

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

开学了!

在Prof David Clarke开始给welcome talk时,我身为pharmacy student的生涯也开始了。
看着身边200个未来药剂师,我不禁有些兴奋:开学了!

skype很好,让我感觉家人还是在身边,只是家里的webcam太low resolution了,我看不见家人!他们看到我,因我的webcam是2megapixels..开学了,skype时间将减少了(开学唯一的缺点)

今天又认识了几个读pharmacy的马来西亚学生 =)
今天也去了whitworth park的BBQ,还玩弹弹跳,有点晕晕走回宿舍。
今天又再次推掉了flatmates的邀请,我不喝酒

p/s:course administrator suzanne davies比我想象更年轻 =P
also, very grateful for Mr Tai phone calls from malaysia, thanks for your concern, sir! 虽然我A-level chemistry得了600/600, 但还是没有像班上其他人一样挤进world top10,还是觉得有些对不起mr tai..听senior说mr tan也问了我的电话号码,谢谢关心 =)

Monday, September 20, 2010

The University of Manchester

曼彻斯特大学的shortform是什么?

曼大?挺怪的 =P









当我拿到我的学生卡,有一种感觉:A level时的梦想终于完成了
希望这里的大学生活会很有纪念性 =)

舒适区 comfort zone

Mr Tai曾说过我要move out of my comfort zone,别局限自己。
我的七个flatmates, 六个是英国人,一个是Estonia人,也的确是一个增加社交圈,扩大视野,有国际观的好机会。但三天过去了,我依然没有和他们深入的聊天,除了普通的闲聊几句。我还是躲在comfort zone?

不管怎样,Rasmus,Alex,Nick,Josh,Andy,Josh,Sam,nice to meet you all =)

Sunday, September 19, 2010



第一次在uk自己煮

饭总会让我想起远在一万公里外在马来西亚的家,然后再想起马来西亚的阳光
番茄炒蛋,我在ucsi两年比较熟练自己煮的食物,那时候每星期周末还可以回老家吃大餐.. 如今远在异国,家的好吃食物离我太远了

饭吃在嘴里,发现有些硬,水放太少?
我后来才发现鸡肉oven得不够熟..当它在我肚子里,我才发现我生吃了它

原本是想写一个游子想家的感人post,后来type着type着,变成了一个游子煮失败的搞笑post

我的flatmate Josh觉得我煮番茄炒蛋很“impressive”,不像他只用microwave。Josh,我其实只会炒蛋,你高估了我,哈哈,明天你就会发现了 =)

Friday, September 17, 2010

曼彻斯特



从KLIA到London Heathrow,到Manchester Airport..
经过十几个小时的飞行,我终于到达了曼彻斯特。

在KLIA,挥手向家人说再见,我肩负一家人的希望前进 =)

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

飞行的前一天

在我flight的前一天,我终于拿到我的visa了 =)也够惊险了

Saturday, September 11, 2010

visa?!! @-@


above is the expected schedule of my flight

the problem now is that i still have not receive my visa after 14days..

really hope i can get my visa on next tues.. finger crossed

Saturday, September 4, 2010

So, are YOU ready?

"Am I ready to go UK?"
it is less than 2 weeks from now to the day i expected to fly from Malaysia
to Manchester (a land which i only heard before through EPL and university prospectus)

feeling a mixture of excitement and anxiety, hard to describe! haha


My dream of studying Master of Pharmacy (MPharm) is so near =)
i got Dr Aleksandra Galetin as my academic advisor, sounds cool, haha


MPharm welcome week timetable!


wahsei, first year booklist!!! chill, man XP

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Eason Chan + Jay Chou



淘汰- 陳奕迅, 作曲詞-周杰倫

what can u expect if eason chan and jay chou co-operate? a nice song, of course!! haha =P

Monday, August 30, 2010

My new babe =)



date of meet: 24aug2010,haha

Thursday, August 19, 2010

All's well that ends well =) happy

i feel so happy.. 2 years of hard works in A-level = 4A*.. really thank Mr Tai, Ms Ding, Ms Adeline and Mr Tan =) i owe them a lot for my result, really appreciate their teachings!!!

and finally, University of Manchester, here i come! haha

Thursday, August 12, 2010

好期待这部电影 =)



“青春就像一场大雨,纵使淋湿感冒了,还是会想回头再淋一次。”
《那些年我們一起追的女孩》
就是这部小说让我开始对九把刀的作品产生了好感和兴趣

Saturday, August 7, 2010

拯救六弄咖啡馆的关闵绿之突发奇想

(此故事纯粹满足我的突发奇想)

地点:《六弄咖啡馆》故事里某一座高楼大厦
事件:关闵绿准备跳楼
人物: 林顺鸿(我),关闵绿 (关)
时间:不祥


 

我:"闵绿!站住!"

关:"你是谁?你为什么知道我的名字?"

我:"我是谁并不重要。重要的是你是我读的小说中第一个自杀而死的主角。而我今天来 就是要阻止你自杀,改写这个故事。"

关:"凭什么?!凭什么!人生,像走在一條小巷中,每一弄都可能是另一個出口,也可能是一条死胡同。生在一个与一般人不同的家庭中,是我人生的第一弄;
愛上了心蕊,是我人生的第二弄;注定般的三百六十公里,是我人生的第三弄;
失去了心蕊,是我人生的第四弄;母亲的逝去,是我人生的第五弄;
在這五弄裡,我看不见所谓的出口,出现在我面前的,尽是死胡同。世界,是我人生的第六弄。该是结束的時候了,该是说再见的時候了!"
(厌世的他接近嘶喊地说了《六弄咖啡馆》里的词句)

我:"你胡说八道些什么?人都是求生的,哪有求死的?你也太窝囊了吧,竟然把自杀的原因推给母亲和前女友!"

关:"你不会明白的!!你知道我失去深爱的心蕊,我有多痛苦吗?"

我:"在《那些年我们一起追的女孩》,柯景藤也曾经莫名其妙地被李小华抛弃,他也是伤心了好一阵子后,才振作起来。他甚至说了很玄的话.."

关:"那幼稚的家伙说了什么屁?"(不屑地说道)

我:"每个女孩都是我们人生的烛火,照亮了我们每段时期疯狂追求爱情的动人姿态,帮助我们这些男孩,一步一步,成为像样的男子汉。"

关:"照亮的烛火?"

我:"你为什么不学学热血的他,用热恋治疗失恋呢?你为什么要想不开自杀呢?"(我抓紧机会问道)

关:"我的内心除了心蕊,再也容不下别的女生了!再也容不下了!她是无可取代的!"


 

(我们两个人停止说话,望向不同的方向,只剩思绪在宁静的空中交战了近五分钟)


 

我:"在《孔雀森林》中的智渊也是因为距离,和盲目追求浪漫的女友柳苇庭分手了,但后来.."

关:"女人果然是没有一件好东西!"(咬牙切齿,愤怒地说道)

我:"你先听我说完,才作结论,好不好?但后来,智渊却找到更适合自己的李珊蓝。你如何知道李心蕊就是那个最适合你的人呢?你为何如此确定心蕊是不可取代的?那种只因距离远,得到学长照顾就忘了爱情承诺的女生,值得你去自杀吗?"

(关闵绿眼光闪过一丝犹豫)


 

我:"在《等一个人咖啡》,阿拓的女友弯弯被一个女生阿不思给抢走了。阿拓更因此被当成笑话一段很长时间。但阿拓却没想过要自杀,他甚至还常常去找阿不思问弯弯过得怎样,并要求阿不思好好照顾弯弯。我想说的是爱情不是占有, 而是希望对方幸福呀!"


 

关:"爱情不是占有,而是希望对方幸福?不是占有, 是希望对方幸福?"(一副困惑的样子)


 

我:"在《一公升的眼泪》,Aya因她的病而渐渐失去种种的生活能力,她无法高中毕业,无法升大学,无法打篮球,无法恋爱,无法打电话,渐渐无法行走,无法说话..可是,Aya从没想过要放弃或自杀呀!你为什么不学学她那倔强的生命力?为什么你不学学Aya?她那虽然知道没效,但还是拼命做复健..你四肢健全,又有大好前途,有必要因感情问题愚蠢地自杀吗?"

关:"我..我.."

我:"想想你的外婆,你忍心要她白头人送黑头人吗?"

关:"我......"

我:"你有勇气想自杀,为什么没有勇气活下去?你有勇气想自杀,就更应该有勇气活下去!!!"(我大声地说道)

我;"生命最重要的是,好好活着!"


 

(关闵绿无语,任由风吹乱他的头发)

-完-

犹记得我中学form4 和 form5时有一段时期对诗很有兴趣,不但读了人生中第一本诗集:席慕蓉写的《七里香》 ,更买了曾翎珑写的《有人以北》。我甚至写了一些去投稿校刊, 当有几首不怎么像诗的东西登载在校刊时,我还高兴了好一阵子 =P
虽然这诗人梦后来不了了之,渐沉睡和封锁在功课堆里,我对诗人们可以用美丽字句写出心中感觉的敬佩不减当年 =)

以下是席慕蓉一些很棒的作品,载自《七里香》:

献给爱与生命,两者皆由天赐


 

渡口
让我与你握别
再轻轻抽出我的手
知道思念从此生根
浮云白日 山川庄严温柔

让我与你握别
再轻轻抽出我的手
年华从此停顿
热泪在心中汇成河流

是那样万般无奈的凝视
渡口旁找不到一朵可以相送的花
就把祝福别在襟上吧
而明日
明日又隔天涯


 

一棵开花的树
如何让你遇见我
在我最美丽的时刻 为这
我已在佛前 求了五百年
求他让我们结一段尘缘

佛于是把我化作一棵树
长在你必经的路旁
阳光下慎重地开满了花
朵朵都是我前世的盼望

当你走近 请你细听
那颤抖的叶是我等待的热情
而当你终于无视地走过
在你身后落了一地的
朋友啊 那不是花瓣
是我凋零的心


 

非别离
不再相见 并不一定等于分离
不再通音讯 也
并不一定等于忘记

只为 你的悲哀已揉进我的
如月色揉进山中 而每逢
夜凉如水 就会触我旧日疼痛


 

月桂树的愿望
我为什么还要爱你呢
海已经漫上来了
漫过我生命的沙滩
而又退得那样急
把青春一卷而去

把青春一卷而去
洒下满天的星斗
山依旧 树依旧
我脚下已不是昨日的水流

风清 云淡
野百合散开在黄昏的山巅
有谁在月光下变成桂树
可以逃过夜夜的思念


悲歌
今生将不再见你
只为 再见的
已不是你

心中的你已永不再现
再现的 只是此沧桑的
日月和流年


 

青春
所有的结局都已写好
所有的泪水也都已启程
却忽然忘了是怎么样的一个开始
在那个古老的不再回来的夏日

无论我如何地去追索
年轻的你只如云影掠过
而你微笑的面容极浅极浅
逐渐隐没在日落后的群岚

遂翻开那发黄的扉页
命运将它装订得极为拙劣
含着泪 我一读再读
却不得不承认
青春是一本太仓促的书

空心人

最近在星洲日报的星洲广场出现一篇让我挺印象深刻的文章,故事大纲如下:

故事中,一个男子向女子表白,但女子拒绝了他。
经历了不少事故的女子说:“我已经是个空心人,无法爱你。”
男子只好黯然离去。男子和女子各自过自己的生活。
多年以后,男子发现女子每个傍晚都会路过他的新家,于是他假装和女子不期而遇。
男子再次向女子表白,但女子还是拒绝了他。
女子说:“如今的你也是一个空心人,再也无法像当初那样爱一个人。”
男子语塞,女子渐运去。

Friday, July 30, 2010

【分享】周杰伦/方文山最感人的二十八句歌词 (转载自网络)

你最喜欢哪一句呢?

1. 最美的不是下雨天,是曾与你躲过雨的屋檐。——《不能说的秘密》

2. 也许时间是一种解药,也是我现在所服下的毒药。——《彩虹》

3. 我一路向北,离开有你的季节,你说你好累,已无法再爱上谁。风在山路吹,过往的画面全都是我不对,细数惭愧,我伤你几回——《一路向北》

4. 翻着我们的照片,想念若隐若现,去年的冬天,我们笑得很甜。——《借口》

5. 转身离开,分手说不出来,海鸟跟鱼相爱,只是一场意外。——《珊瑚海》

6. 思绪不断阻挡着回忆播放,盲目的追寻仍然空空荡荡,灰蒙蒙的夜晚睡意又不知躲到哪去,一转身孤单已躺在身旁。——《回到过去》

7.听妈妈的话别让她受伤,想快快长大才能保护她,美丽的白发幸福总发芽,天使的魔法温暖中慈祥。——《听妈妈的话》

8.我会发着呆然后忘记你,接着紧紧闭上眼,想着那一天会有人代替,让我不再想念你。---《轨迹》

9.风筝在阴天搁浅,想念还在等待救援,我拉着线复习你给的温柔。——《搁浅》

10.雨下整夜我的爱溢出就像雨水,窗台蝴蝶像诗里纷飞的美丽章节。 我接着写把永远爱你写进诗的结尾,你是我唯一想要的了解。——《七里香》

11.为你弹奏萧邦的夜曲,纪念我死去的爱情,而我为你隐姓埋名,在月光下弹琴--《夜曲》

12. 缓缓飘落的枫叶像思念 为何挽回要赶在冬天来之前 爱你穿越时间 两行来自秋末的眼泪 让爱渗透了地面 我要的只是你在我身边---《枫》

13.我用漂亮的押韵,形容被掠夺一空的爱情;我用凄美的字型,描绘后悔莫及的那爱情---《夜曲》
14.看着那白色的蜻蜓 在空中忘了前进 还能不能重新编织 脑海中起毛球的记忆---《黑色毛衣》

15.希望他是真的比我还要爱你,我才会逼自己离开。我真的没有天份安静的没这么快,我会学着放弃你是因为我太爱你。——《安静》

16.我知道你我都没有错,只是忘了怎么退后,信誓旦旦给的承诺,全被时间扑了空 我知道我们都没有错,只是放手会比较好过,最美的爱情回忆里待续。——《退后》

17.祭司神殿征战弓箭是谁的从前,喜欢在人潮中你只属於我的那画面,经过苏美女神身边,我以女神之名许愿,思念像底格里斯河般的漫延,当古文明只剩下难解的语言,传说就成了永垂不朽的诗篇。——《爱在西元前》

18.你的回话凌乱着 在这个时刻 我想起喷泉旁的白鸽 甜蜜散落了 怎么了 你累了说好的 幸福呢 我懂了 不说了 爱淡了 梦远了---《说好的幸福呢》

19.断了的弦再怎么连,我的感觉你已听不见,你的转变像断掉的弦,再怎么接音都不对,你的改变我能够分辨。——《断了的弦》

20.能不能给我一首歌的时间 紧紧的把那拥抱变成永远---《给我一首歌的时间》

21. 乘着风游荡在蓝天边,一片云掉落在我面前,捏成你的形状,随风跟着我,一口一口吃掉忧愁。——《星晴》

22.我陪你走到最后 能不能别想太多 会不会手牵着手 晚一点再到尽头 你说不该再相见只为了瞬间 谢谢你让我听见 因为我在等待永远---《白色风车》

23.而我已经分不清 你是友情 还是错过的爱情---《蒲公英的约定》

24.天灰灰会不会 让我忘了你是谁 累不累睡不睡 单影无人相依偎 夜越黑梦违背 有谁肯安慰 我的世界将被摧毁 也许颓废也是另一种美----《世界末日》

25.心里的雨倾盆的下 也沾不湿她的发 ---《心雨》

26.我想就这样牵着你的手不放开,爱能不能够简简单单没有伤害。---《简单爱》

27.知道分手后你不难过 你比从前快乐 那祝福的话叫我如何能够说的出口 过往的欢乐是否褪色想问你怎么舍得 不要在耳边再说你会想我---《你比从前快乐》

28.我送你离开千里之外你无声黑白,沉默年代或许不该太遥远的相爱;我送你离开天涯之外你是否还在,琴声何来生死难猜用一生去等待。——《千里之外》

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Waving Flag

what does world cup 2010 mean to you?

i feel the theme song for this world cup very nice and very meaningful..
if you do not believe, try listen and read its lyrics.. All the best to you, Africa! =)





When I get older, I will be stronger
They’ll call me freedom, just like a Waving Flag

When I get older, I will be stronger
They’ll call me freedom, just like a Waving Flag
And then it goes back, and then it goes back
And then it goes back

Born to a throne, stronger than Rome
But Violent prone, poor people zone
But it’s my home, all I have known
Where I got grown, streets we would roam

But out of the darkness, I came the farthest
Among the hardest survival
Learn from these streets, it can be bleak
Except no defeat, surrender retreat

So we struggling, fighting to eat and
We wondering when we’ll be free
So we patiently wait, for that fateful day
It’s not far away, so for now we say


When I get older, I will be stronger
They’ll call me freedom, just like a Waving Flag
And then it goes back, and then it goes back
And then it goes back

So many wars, settling scores
Bringing us promises, leaving us poor
I heard them say, love is the way
Love is the answer, that’s what they say,
But look how they treat us, make us believers
We fight their battles, then they deceive us
Try to control us, they couldn’t hold us
Cause we just move forward like Buffalo Soldiers

But we struggling, fighting to eat
And we wondering, when we’ll be free
So we patiently wait, for that faithful day
It’s not far away, but for now we say

When I get older, I will be stronger
They’ll call me freedom, just like a Waving Flag
And then it goes back, and then it goes back
And then it goes back

When I get older, I will be stronger
They’ll call me freedom, just like a Waving Flag
And then it goes back, and then it goes back
And then it goes back

(Ohhhh Ohhhh Ohhhhh Ohhhh)
And everybody will be singing it
(Ohhhh Ohhhh Ohhhhh Ohhhh)
And you and I will be singing it
(Ohhhh Ohhhh Ohhhhh Ohhhh)
And we all will be singing it
(Ohhh Ohh Ohh Ohh)

When I get older, I will be stronger
They’ll call me freedom, just like a Waving Flag
And then it goes back, and then it goes back
And then it goes back

When I get older, I will be stronger
They’ll call me freedom, just like a Waving Flag
And then it goes back, and then it goes back
And then it goes back

When I get older, when I get older
I will be stronger, just like a Waving Flag
Just like a Waving Flag, just like a Waving flag
Flag, flag, Just like a Waving Flag

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

the Curious Incident of the Dog in the night time

my brother gave me this novel written by Mark Haddon as my 20-year-old birthday gift =).. it was quite a pleasant read.. i begin to gain an insight of the world of autistic person through Christopher, the main character in this novel.. i wish Christopher good luck and hope he can achieve his dream of becoming an astronaut one day =)

Below are some interesting quotes by Christopher.. despite his behavioral problems(scream when confused, scream and hit people when people touch him, like to be alone, don't talk to strangers..), Christopher has a remarkablly clever thinking and he is very talented in Maths and Physics


"Prime numbers are what is left when you have taken all the patterns away. I think prime numbers are like life. They are very logical but you could never work out the rules, even if you spent all your time thinking about them." very cool thinking


"... Mother was cremated... I don't know what happens to the ash and I couldn't ask at the crematorium because I didn't go to the funeral. But the smoke goes out of the chimney and into the air and sometimes I look up into the sky and I think that there are molecules of mother up there, or in clouds over africa or the Antarctic, or coming down as rain in the rain forests in Brazil, or in snow somewhere." very touching


"I think people believe in heaven because they don't like the idea of dying, because they want to cary on living and they don't like that other people will move into their house and put their things into the rubbish." very mean but true


"Lots of things are mysteries. But that doesn't mean there isn't an answer to them. It's just that scientists haven't found the answer yet."
"Eventually scientists will discover something that explains ghosts, just like they discovered electricity, which explained lightning, and it might be something about people's brains, or something about the earth's magnetic field, or it might be some new force altogether. And then ghosts won't be mysteries. They will be like electricity and rainbows and nonstick frying pans." agree!


"And when you look at the sky you know you are looking at stars which are hundreds and thousands of light-years away from you. And some of the stars don't even exist anymore because their light has taken so long to get to us that they are already dead, or they have exploded and collapsed into red dwarfs. And that makes you seem very small, and if you have difficult things in your life it is nice to think that they are what is called negligible, which means that they are so small you don't have to take them into account when you are calculating something." very meaningful



"People think that alien spaceships would be solid and made of metal and have lights all over them and move slowly through the sky because that is how we would build a spaceship if we were able to build one that big. But aliens, if they exist, would probably be very different from us. They might look like big slugs, or be flat like reflections. Or they might be bigger than planets. Or they might not have bodies at all. They might just be information, like in a computer. And their spaceships might look like clouds, or be made up of unconnected objects like dust or leaves." really impressive



Thursday, July 22, 2010

My 20years

I always believe that people we met when we grow up, shape what we are today. As such, i remain forever grateful for my family and thankful for all the friends, teachers that i met for the past 20 years.

i really thank my family members(my grandma, my dad, my mum, my 2 aunts,my 2 bros and my sis). A very very special thanks to all of them.

Special thanks to Kang Beng, Teh Jason, Kenneth Gan, Emily Chan, Yee Thien, Chiew Lui, Susan Ong and Wen Huei, Ivy Tiong, Chin Vent, Ke Er, Yvonne Tan who are very great friends that i met during secondary school and short stay in taylor's.

Special thanks to Mr Low, Ms Linda, Mr Moay, Ms Grace Tay, Ms Betsy Teh, Mr Sugu, Pn Suraya, Cik Sakinah, Cik Marina, Pn Chiah, Pn Azimah who are great teachers that i met during form4 n form5 in secondary school.


Special thanks to Jiun Haur, Jacky Ngu, Ji Ding, Kay Rin, Mei Mei, Jin Wen, Ren Ai who are awesome friends that i met during UCSI university. A very memorable 2years in my life.

Special thanks to Mr Tai, Ms Ding, Ms Adeline, Mr Tan who are great lecturers that i met in UCSI. "If I can see further than anyone else, it is only because I am standing on the shoulders of giants"

感恩